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The
Oubyamywe Peninsula.
A remote and fascinating
region
teeming with extraordinary marine life.
We chose its mysterious
waters
as the Belafonte's next destination.
In preparation
for our voyage...
the members of
Team Zissou gathered at
my oceanographic observatory...
here on Pescespada
Island.
This was to be
our most
ambitious adventure to date...
and ultimately
a tragic one.
Our team included...
Esteban du Plantier,
chief diver...
our senior statesman,
my closest colleague for years;
Klaus Daimler,
engineer-
calm, collected, German;
Vikram Ray, cameraman
-
born on the Ganges;
Bobby Ogata, frogman;
Renzo Pietro,
editor, soundman;
Vladimir Wolodarsky,
physicist,
original score composer;
Anne-Marie Sakowitz,
script girl;
Pele dos Santos,
safety expert;
Eleanor Zissou,
my wife,
vice president of the Zissou Society.
We had also invited
seven marine science
students from the University of North Alaska...
to accompany us
as unpaid interns
in exchange for school credit.
October . Esteban
and I explore
the blue reefs beyond the peninsula.
Fluorescent snapper
unexpectedly appear in the shallows -
extremely rare
at this depth.
Where's your gun?
Steve! Steve!
- Where's Esteban?
- Is that thing rolling, Vikram?
Encounter with
highly abnormal sharklike fish!
Ten meters in
length,
unfamiliar dorsal features, spots all over it!
I shot it dorsally
with a homing dart!
Esteban was eaten!
Check the scanning
monitor!
Start tracking before it dives too deep!
- Esteban was
bitten?
- Eaten!
- Is he dead?
- Esteban was eaten!
- He was swallowed
whole?
- No! Chewed!
Check the scanning
monitor!
He's got hydrogen
psychosis.
Crazy-eye.
Steve, we think
you got crazy-eye.
- Get him out
of the fucking water.
- Esteban!
- Esteban! Esteban!
- Why'd you throw it over?
- Esteban! Esteban!
- It's gone.
- Steve!
- Esteban!
Esteban! Esteban!
Esteban!
Was it a deliberate
choice
never to show the jaguar shark?
No. I dropped
the camera.
Why are they laughing?
Yes, what's next
for Team Zissou?
Well, that was
only part one.
It's a cliffhanger.
Now I'm gonna
go hunt down that shark,
or whatever it is...
and hopefully
kill it.
I don't know how
yet.
Maybe dynamite.
- You don't know
what it is?
- Thank you.
- No. I've never
seen anything
like it before in my life.
- You say it is a jaguar shark.
That's the title
of your film.
It was coming
right at us. I just said
the first two words that came into my head.
That's an endangered
species at most.
What would be
the scientific purpose
of killing it?
Revenge.
Bravo!
What fun!
I'd like to introduce
you to Antonia Cook.
She's the new head of the film society.
You must be so
excited.
I hope so.
You think it went okay?
No, congratulations.
- Seriously.
- Thanks.
I wish it didn't
require the "seriously,"
but thank you.
Well, I just don't
think they got it.
- Steve!
- Shit turnout tonight.
- You know Larry
Amin, chairman of Saudifilm.
- Oh, yeah. Hi.
- Nice to see
you.
- Larry and I were just discussing
our financial predicament.
I thought it would
be nice if
the three of us rode out to the party together.
Why? Does Larry
have that kind of
spending bread to invest?
- The king's backing
him now.
- I just got $ million
capitalization from the king.
- Can I get a
shot of you with Captain Hennessey?
- Where?
Make it quick.
Hey, Steven. How's
everything going
with your, uh -
- What are you
calling it? Leopard... fish?
- Jaguar shark.
Jaguar shark.
Exactly. I love it.
Tell me something
-
Does it actually exist?
You know, Allie,
I don't wanna give away the ending.
Good man.
Oh, here comes
our girl.
You're the most
ravishing creature
that I've ever seen in my life.
- Hello, Skinny.
- Hello, Eleanor.
Is that a new
merit badge?
As a matter of
fact, it is.
I just became
a knight in Portugal.
The presidente
gave
a special ball and -
Don't be nice
to Allie.
He's my nemesis.
How could you
lay that slick faggot?
Well, I was in
love with him
at the time.
Yeah, he's charismatic.
How are you feeling?
I'm right on the
edge.
I don't know what comes next.
Wait here.
I'll be right back.
I just wanted
to say hello.
- Hi.
- Hey, baby.
I said I wanted
to say hello.
I didn't say I wanted you to touch me.
I'm here with
my wife.
Eleanor, this
is Mandeeza.
Mandeeza -
Do we really wanna
put me through this?
People say Eleanor
is the brains
behind Team Zissou.
What is Steve?
He's the Zissou.
Steve.
This is my little
nephew,
Werner.
He wanted to meet
you.
- How you doing,
Werner?
- He brought you a present.
A crayon pony-fish.
Wow.
Interesting specimen.
- Thanks, pal.
- You're welcome.
Steve.
You don't look
too good.
How's this?
Steve, there's
a bloke over there
wants a word with you.
What do you need,
old man?
How many of these
do you have?
All right, look,
just forge the rest of 'em yourself.
Get out of here.
Hey, Steve! How
come you're not
sittin' shivah for your friend Esteban?
What'd you say?
Who you gonna
kill
in part two?
Steve! Stop!
Ow!
Larry Amin's flying
back to Mecca tonight
to see if he can make the numbers work.
He should have
an answer for us in days.
Tell him we need
to know by Sunday.
Why would I do
that,
my darling?
To call his bluff,
damn it.
To light a fire under his ass.
My darling, we
haven't
made a hit documentary in nine years.
Let's not fuck
with Larry Amin.
- Doubles.
- Explain it to him, will you, Eleanor.
- Screwdriver.
- He understands.
Amin needs to
make a projection
of the world grosses...
to see if he can
get a tax break
and run it through his output deal.
I don't understand,
but I can tell it's bullshit.
Oh, what the hell
is-
Play the black
jack on the red queen.
Well, if you'll
excuse me, I'm gonna go on
an overnight drunk...
and in days I'm
gonna set out to find
the shark that ate my friend and destroy it.
Anyone that would
care to join me
is more than welcome.
Captain Zissou,
I'm sorry to bother you.
- I'm Ned Plimpton.
- Okay, man.
My mother's
Katherine Plimpton.
- You're kidding.
- No.
- How is she?
- She died last month.
Sorry. Shit.
She was -
Hmm.
I've heard of
you.
I don't know if
it's true or not,
by the way.
- Do you?
- No, I don't.
I haven't heard
from her
in years.
I guess
it's too late now.
She never contacted
me,
you know.
Yes, I see.
You're supposed
to be
my son, right?
I don't know.
But I did want
to meet you,
just in case.
I appreciate that.
I'll be right
back.
Don't go away.
Sailors
Fighting in the
dance hall
Oh, man
Look at those
cavemen go
It's the freakiest
show
Take a look at
the lawman
Beating up the
wrong guy
Oh, man
Wonder if he'll
ever know
He's in the best-selling
show
Is there life
on Mars
Sorry about that.
You caught me with
one foot off the merry-go-round tonight.
Oh, that's all
right. I don't wanna
take up too much of your time.
I wanna thank
you
for talking to me.
- We'll find a
way, mate.
- I know we will.
I just had a lovely
chat
with Si Perlman.
He wants to make
a big to-do
of the Oceanographic Explorer article.
Possibly give
you
the front cover.
So do be nice
to this girl,
Miss Winslett-Richardson, won't you?
Apparently
she worships you...
and we dearly
need the press.
Oseary, this is,
uh, probably my son, Ned.
We just met.
Ah. Uh, how delightful.
Anyway, his mother
just died.
Plus, we're having
some problems.
I just think it'd
be a very special opportunity
for all of us, especially him.
- He needs this
deal.
- Okay, bring him over.
Well, he's right
here.
I'm sorry. How
do you do?
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
- So, what do
you do?
- I'm a pilot.
Air Kentucky.
Air Kentucky.
- Copilot, actually.
- Yeah. I don't know that one.
We hub out of
Louisville.
Well, sure. There's
some pretty country
in those parts. Landlocked.
I have to tell
you, I've been a member
of the Zissou Society...
since I was .
Well, I'll be
damned.
Look at that.
Wanna kill this?
Frankly, I'd better
not.
I don't usually try grass.
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Let me tell you
about my boat.
The Belafonte
was a long-range sub hunter
during the Second World War...
which we bought
from the U.S. Navy
for $.
This is my mentor,
Lord Mandrake.
He's dead now.
The sauna...
was designed by
an engineer
from the Chinese space program...
and we keep a
Swedish masseuse
on staff.
Here's where we
do all our different
science projects and experiments and so on.
This is the kitchen...
which contains
probably some of the most
technologically advanced equipment on the ship.
Eleanor put together
a top-notch
research library for us...
with a complete
first-edition
set of The Life Aquatic companion series.
We process our
own rushes...
and keep a cutting
room onboard
so we can do an assembly while shooting.
- I can't find
them!
- Once again, please.
This is the observation
bubble...
which I thought
up
in a dream, actually.
Two albino scouts
swim with the ship.
They're supposedly
very intelligent...
although I've
never
seen any evidence of it.
Here is the engine
room.
The bearing casings
aren't
supposed to look like that...
but we can't afford
to fix them this year.
Topside we've
got the bridge,
the minisub, an old chopper...
and all kinds
of radar and sonar
and underwater movie gadgets.
What happened
to Jacqueline?
She didn't really
love me.
Lord Mandrake.
It's wonderful.
- Very lifelike.
- I'm not crazy about it.
This guy's
a big-time asshole.
We were roommates
at the academy.
He used to be
married to Eleanor.
He hogs up
all the grant money.
You think you'll
want to change your name?
- Ned?
- No, not the Ned part.
Unless you want
to.
I meant your last
name.
I thought you might like to let me give you mine.
- Ned Zissou.
- Ned Zissou. Exactly.
Or, if you want
to,
you can change the first part too.
I would have named
you Kingsley,
if I'd had a say in it.
Kingsley.
I don't know.
Maybe I'll stick with Ned for now.
Sure.
That's okay.
Anyway, I'll order
you
some correspondence stock.
What are you doing?
I ordered the wine.
Pour it over here, please.
He doesn't know
anything about wine.
Are those assholes
talking about me?
Eh?
People say when
someone
says something like that about you...
it's because
they're jealous.
But it still hurts.
It hurts bad.
That man was damn
rude.
He can go straight to hell.
How did she die,
by the way, your mother?
She took her own
life.
She took sleeping
pills.
Why would she
do that?
Well, she was
in
a great deal of pain, you know.
Oh.
I see. Yeah.
You know, my best
friend
just got killed. Esteban.
Yeah, I know.
The old man.
Let's go to my
island.
Well, I, uh -
I have to be back
in Kentucky on Thursday.
Thursday?
Okay.
That's okay.
Your cat's dead.
What?
Which one?
Marmalade.
I'm sorry.
What happened?
A rattlesnake
bit it
in the throat.
Goddamn it, Eleanor,
why do you have to say it like that?
You couldn't try
to break it
a little bit nicer?
She's a rich bitch,
you know.
She was raised
by maids.
Her parents
paid for this island...
and two of
my worst movies.
People say she's
the brains
behind Team Zissou.
People say a lot
of things.
What kind of cat
was it?
Who gives a shit?
I think it was
a tabby.
Ned, wanna come
inside,
we'll make up a room for you?
Steve, that reporter
called.
Ned, wake up.
- Yes?
- I'm on the echo box.
Push the red button
to answer. Throw on your slop
and meet me on the beach in minutes.
The white button?
Okay.
Action!
Only twice before
have I had
the good fortune to observe a rubber tide...
that rare occurrence
when hundreds
of electric jellyfish...
spontaneously
wash
onto a beachhead at once.
Bobby Ogata brings
exactly this
to our attention tonight.
Steve, what produces
this effect of illumination?
Is there a chemical
inside the organism?
No, Ned.
Actually, it's
the reflection of the moonlight
on their outer membranes.
That's a very
good,
uh, ad-lib.
Klaus, come over
here
and get a two-shot of me and Ned.
Ned, come in here.
Would you
like to join my crew?
- Would I like
to -
- I want you on Team Zissou.
- I don't think
I can do that.
- Why not?
Well, it's not
my field.
- I don't have
the background for it.
- No one here does.
Klaus used to
be
a bus driver.
Wolodarsky was
a high school
substitute teacher.
We're a pack of
strays.
Don't you get it?
Steve, I'm not
even
that strong a swimmer.
The answer's yes.
Well, it's got
to be.
I'll order you
a red cap
and a Speedo. Cut.
Klaus, why aren't
you rolling?
- Could I have
a word with you, please?
- Why aren't you getting this?
That was
a goddamn tearjerker.
- Why did you
cut it, man?
- Because the sound is going to be shit.
He doesn't even
know how
to hold a boom.
He doesn't know
diddly-jack
about what we're doing.
Don't cut
unless I say "cut."
I've never seen
so many electric jellyfish in all my life!
Those are
Vietcong man-of-wars.
Oh, shit.
She's right.
I guess we'll
have to
loop that line.
- Where'd you
come from? You look pregnant.
- I am pregnant.
I'm not even going
to ask what you men
are doing out here in your matching pajamas.
We're producing
a film,
as a matter of fact. Who are you?
I'm Jane Winslett-Richardson.
- I'm the reporter
from
the Oceanographic Explorer.
- Oh, yeah, sure.
- How'd you get
out here?
- I hired some drunk in a fishing boat.
That would take
four hours.
Why would you do that?
Because no one
picked me up
at the f-ing airport!
Jesus Christ,
Klaus.
One of my guys
was supposed to do that.
How long have
you been working
with Zissou?
Uh, approximately-
Only minutes,
actually.
I was hired during the scene on the beach.
He's Steve's son,
supposedly.
You are? No, you're
not.
He doesn't have one.
Well, we're not
% sure about that yet.
We just met yesterday.
- Not this one,
Klaus.
- Hmm?
You heard me.
Not this one.
Okay.
- First thing
in the morning, huh?
- Just print everything?
- Yeah. Tell 'em
to push it a stop and a half.
- Okay.
What are you
gonna do with him?
Who? Ned?
What do you mean?
I don't understand
the question.
I offered him
a spot
on the Belafonte.
He didn't take
it, did he?
Of course he took
it.
We're gonna put
him
on the map, Eleanor.
We're gonna throw
him
a life preserver.
I believe in this
boy!
Why?
Because
he looks up to me.
Yes, sir.
And McKinnon's
willing to
take over my shuttle flights.
That's right.
Well, I just feel
I need to
see this thing through, sir.
Thank you
for understanding.
I'll check in
with the Louisville office
again next month.
"Any strong
impression...
"since I
had not, as they say...
"enough 'power
of observation'...
"to isolate
their sense of color.
"For a long
time afterwards,
whenever I thought of her...
"the memory
of those bright eyes
would at once present itself to me...
"as a vivid
azure...
"since her
complexion was fair.
"So much
so that, perhaps if her eyes had
not been quite so black...
"which was
what struck one most forcibly
on first meeting her...
"I should
not have been, as I was...
so especially
enamored
of their imagined blue -"
Hold it.
That's poetry?
No. It's a six-volume
novel.
Oh, I see. You're
gonna read
that whole thing to yourself out loud?
I'm not reading
it to myself.
I'm reading it to him.
When did you learn
Zissou was your father?
- Does it freak
you out for me to ask that?
- No, it doesn't.
But it's a difficult
question.
I sorta pieced it together over the years.
Well, how did
he
first contact you?
He didn't. I went
looking for him
last month, after my mother died.
She had ovarian
cancer
that spread to her stomach and liver.
She took her own
life.
Oh.
Well, good night,
I guess.
Good night.
You mind if I
stay
and listen for a little while?
Okay.
Do you want me
to catch you up
in the story?
No. I'll be able
to figure it out.
I'll just catch
as catch can.
They made these
for about...
three and a half
years
before they terminated my sponsorship.
Wow.
These are great.
- May I turn this
on?
- Fire one.
So, what happened,
in your opinion?
What are you
talking about?
Don't you think
the public perception of
your work has altered in the last five years?
That's your first
question?
I thought this was supposed to be a puff piece.
Should we come
back to it?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Is it true that
this is
going to be your last voyage?
Wow.
No comment.
Who told you that?
No, goddamn it.
I'm - I'm only .
How about we start
out
with some stock dialogue?
You know, favorite
color- blue.
Favorite food - sardines.
How do you feel
about part one
of your new film?
Why? How do you
feel
about part one of my new film?
- Well, I'm honest,
so -
- Just say it.
I thought aspects
of it
seemed slightly fake.
- Wolodarsky?
- I'll take five, Steve.
How 'bout taking
five?
Did it seem fake...
when my best friend
was bitten in half
right in front of me...
then eaten alive,
screaming?
I think you're
a fake.
And I think
you're a phony...
and a bad reporter.
How does that
feel?
Now tell me something.
Does this seem
fake?
How dare you?
This entire article
was my idea.
- No one else
gives a shit.
- What about Si Perlman?
Are you joking?
He's not even covering my expenses.
You're taking
something
out on me.
Oh, stop crying.
What's the deal
here?
I was only trying
to defend myself.
Well, you did
a great job.
I'm sure you'll
make a terrific father.
So, you really
think
you're a Zissou.
I don't know.
Well, you traveled
a long way
for "I don't know," sonny.
That's true.
But it's important to me.
Yeah? Well, there
are a lot of things that
are important to some people around here, sonny.
- Klaus, don't
call me "sonny."
- And one more thing.
It's the Steve
Zissou show,
not the Ned show.
- You hear me?
- Yes, I do.
- Klaus!
- Ja?
If you ever touch
me again,
I will kick your goddamn teeth out.
Is that understood?
Not if I don't
see you first, sonny.
We gotta watch
ourselves
around this Jane character.
Don't tell her
anything personal.
If you're not
sure about something,
change the subject...
and look for me.
This bull dyke's
got
something against us.
I don't think
she's a lesbian.
She's pregnant.
Bull dykes can
get pregnant.
Anyway, I'd back
out now,
but we need the press.
See you in the
morning.
- Steve.
- Hmm?
When'd you first
hear about me?
About five years
ago.
I... read it in
an article
about myself.
Did you believe
it?
It was in the
paper.
I assumed they checked their facts.
Why didn't you
contact me?
Because I hate
fathers
and I never wanted to be one.
I forgot.
Your correspondence stock came in.
Hi, Ross. Started
today.
I'll forward some
pages to you
through the copy department.
You're probably
right, though.
What am I doing
here?
I miss you, and
-
Oh, God,
I don't know, Ross.
Where are you?
Listen, I'm not
leaving this message.
Don't even know
why
I'm still pregnant.
Script girl uses
these
for continuity.
- Here.
- Oh, no, no, no.
No exceptions.
Everyone gets one.
Anne-Marie! Do
the interns get glocks?
No. They all share
one.
Take it, Ned.
- Steve!
- What?
Whack on the echo
box.
Zissou here.
Steve, Oseary
Drakoulias on line two.
- Yeah?
- I spoke with Larry Amin.
And it's a pass.
In other words,
you fucked us!
Let's not cast
stones
at one another, my boy.
- Do you hear
me, damn it? Do you?
- No, I don't!
- I told you how
to play it!
- Oh, bloody hell! Listen here, mate!
Can I interrupt
for a moment?
Who the blazes
is that?
It's me, Ned.
Maybe this is
nothing.
Maybe it's something.
I don't know your
problems.
I don't know.
But I just inherited
$.
Would that amount
make any difference?
What sort of expression
is the lad wearing on his face?
Can you fly a
chopper?
I have. I'm certainly
not licensed
in any way, shape or form.
Great. Let's go.
When was this
whirlybird
last serviced?
I don't know.
Klaus is supposed to
check it every six months.
You're back
on the water, boys.
The wire transfer
came straight through
from Kentucky.
Jackman and Wordsley
are going to
gap-finance the rest.
But we have a
few hooks on it,
so take a pew for a spell.
Number one, the
bank want a drug screen
for everyone on the crew...
before they'll
forward
the money.
- A piss test?
- Yes, a piss test.
Two, a stooge
from the bond company...
will be riding
everywhere during
the whole shoot to keep you on budget.
- Who's the stooge?
- A chap by the name of Bill Ubell.
And there's not
a damn thing
you can do about that, Steve.
Three, you must
swear-
legally swear-
that you'll not
kill that shark, or whatever it is,
if it actually exists.
I'm going to fight
it, but I'll let it live.
What about my dynamite?
Phillip, dynamite.
I'm off to Zurich. Follow me, chaps.
Mr. Ubell,
I'd like you to know...
Steve Zissou
and our equity partner Ned.
I hope you're
not gonna
bust our chops, Bill.
Why would I do
that?
Because you're
a bond company stooge.
I'm also a human
being.
All right. I take
that back.
Yeah.
Let's have
some "teamsmanship."
Ho!
- One, two, three.
- Come on.
One, two, three.
Attaboy. Attaboy.
Here he is.
Here he is. Come
on.
You okay, Ned? You okay?
All right. All
right.
Give him some room. He's okay.
He just drank
a little too much water.
How you shooting
this, Vikram?
Wide open?
Uh, light, ..
As always,
even in the most challenging circumstances...
the members of
Team Zissou
find ways to keep morale high.
Wait. Hold it.
Is that a distress
bark?
Is something wounded
out there?
We quickly locate
the source of the mysterious cry.
What is she, Steve?
A wild snow mongoose.
We thought they
were extinct.
Her ankle's broken.
- Ogata.
- Yeah?
Run and get some
hot milk
and put these guys in the incubator.
We radio for the
emergency transport
of our rare, beautiful new friends.
That's what
it used to be like.
Had Ned's heart
stopped beating
before you pulled him out of the water?
Had Ned's heart
stopped beating...
before we pulled
him
out of the water?
Yes. But we got
him
started again pretty quickly.
Don't go on this
voyage
right now, Steve.
One of you's already
dead,
after all.
Who?
Oh, you mean Esteban?
Thanks for
bringing that up.
Who's gonna tell
us the Latin names
of all the fishes and everything?
You know I can't
remember all that shit.
Please stop, Eleanor.
Eleanor, stop.
- Why are you
leaving?
- Because I don't want to be
part of whatever's gonna happen.
Nobody knows
what's going to happen.
- And then we
film it. That's the whole concept.
- That's how we've always done it.
I can't believe
you took that boy's money.
He's an investor.
He's my sidekick.
The sugar crabs
are back.
They're early
this year.
I've never seen
them mating
before the solstice.
Is that mating?
Good-bye, Steve.
Don't say that,
even if it's true.
Don't say that.
It's too painful.
What do you
want me to say?
Say bon voyage.
Bon voyage.
Kingsley "Ned"
Zissou, .
Junior-grade diving
tech,
executive producer.
Energetic, spirited,
youthful.
Normally we would
track the jaguar shark...
with a scanning
monitor
we keep on board the Belafonte.
But its power
tubes have seized up
and blown a gasket.
We now proceed...
to an advanced
system
located on a colleague's offshore facility.
This will be Team
Zissou's next stop.
See, Renzo?
This is what I'm talking about.
A relationship
subplot.
There's chemistry
between us, you know.
Huh?
- Here's a quote.
- Wait up. Who from?
"Zissou has
an almost magical connection...
"to the life
of the sea.
"He speaks
its language fluently.
I've never met
a boy like that in all my life."
Lord Mandrake.
- You should have
opened with that one.
- He was your mentor-
Hey, intern?
Get me a Campari, will ya?
On the rocks?
Wanna go up
in my balloon?
I like her hairdo.
Me too.
But Steve called her first.
I'm sorry I made
you cry the other day.
Oh, that's okay.
It's not completely
your fault, anyway.
I'm going through
some personal problems.
Really? What do
you got?
Well, I'm five
months pregnant.
My editor's the
father.
He's married.
But not to me.
Wow.
That's a rough ticket.
You know, my first
wife
left me when I was your age.
- What's "Deep
Search"?
- My submarine.
I had this exact
image of you...
tacked up on the
wall above my aquarium
all through primary school.
Oh, yeah? You
mean the official photograph,
where I'm doing this?
- That's the one.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, maybe it's
just me,
but I don't feel like that person.
I never did.
Here's to you
Nicola and Bart
Rest forever
here in our hearts
The last and final
moment is yours
Why did you abandon
Ned?
I didn't.
I never even met him.
What kind of piece
are you writing, cubbie?
Are you gonna
screw us
on this deal?
I hope not.
Here's to you
Nicola and Bart
You really think
it's cool to hit the sauce
when you've got a bun in the oven?
Pele, bring us
back down, please.
Is your triumph
I don't have a
problem
with objective reporting.
What I have a
problem with
is some wombat...
coming on my boat
trying to railroad me.
See if you can
get one of these dolphins
to swim under the hull...
and give us a
look.
Nah. Either they
can't hear us,
or they don't understand.
Son of a bitch,
I'm sick of these dolphins.
Quiet out there
tonight.
Can you hear
the jack-whales singing?
Beautiful. I wonder
what they're saying.
Well, that was
the sludge tanker
over there, but -
There you go.
That's them.
By the way, would
you mind if I made a few
modifications to the Team Zissou insignia?
- I have some
ideas -
- You mean the patch?
Yes. The insignia.
Yeah. It's probably
kinda dated, isn't it?
Sure. Take a crack
at it.
Make it a little trendier.
All right.
Are you finding
what you were looking for...
out here with
me?
I hope so.
I wrote you a
letter
about years ago.
You mean, like,
a fan letter?
Did I write you
back?
I try to answer
as many personally as I can.
"Dear Ned
Plimpton...
"First, in
answer
to your question, always.
"Second,
thank you very much
for naming your bug after me.
"My wife
tells me
it is actually a type of gnat.
"You strike
me as a very special boy
and a key member of the Zissou Society.
"I wish I
could come visit you in Kentucky
and assist you with your work.
"I remember
your mother.
"Take care
of yourself, Ned Plimpton.
You've served well.
Your friend, Capt.
Steve Zissou.
Dictated, but not read. "
Yeah, more or
less
standard boilerplate, I guess.
There's some real
high-tech gear...
inside this deal,
believe me.
First we go downstairs
and turn on that tracking system.
Then, as long
as the batteries
on that homing dart haven't gone down -
- Who locked us
out?
- No one. We're trespassing.
Steve, are we
allowed in here?
It's a scientific
community, man.
Captain, I am
required by law...
to notify the
bank
of any illegal activities.
Just do what you've
gotta do
to cover your ass, Bill.
I got it.
Fuck! They wired
it!
Klaus, go down
and get me
some cable snippers.
This is Captain
Hennessey.
You have trespassed
on a private facility.
The coast guard
is being alerted via satellite.
Again, this is
Captain Hennessey.
Immediately leave the prem-
Okay, action.
Well, look who's
back in town.
You've traveled
over miles
since we last heard from you.
This son of a
bitch is heading for
the South Pacific.
Turn on your tape
recorder, cubbie.
- Is it the jaguar
shark?
- On the record, yes.
Cut. Print both
takes, Vikram.
Was I...
just in the film?
Yeah. You're gonna
have to sign a release.
But you've actually
located the shark?
You'd better bet
your fuckin' ass we did.
All right, everybody,
we got about to minutes...
before the coast
guard
gets here to arrest us.
I want you all
to get Hennessey's
best gear onto the Belafonte in .
- You're gonna
steal his stuff?
- Nah, we'll get it back to him.
Interns, let's
see some hustle.
Uh, what is this,
Pele?
I don't know.
Uh, the map?
- Steve!
- Uh-huh?
Do you know that
you just charted us
on a course through unprotected waters?
Yeah.
We're taking the shortcut.
But it's outside
I.M.U.jurisdiction.
There isn't any protection.
I know, honey.
Look at the map.
We go your way,
that's about four inches.
We go my way,
it's an inch and a half.
You wanna pay for the extra gas?
What kind of system
is this?
It's the Bernstein
Nines.
They just upgraded last summer.
The Nines are
out already?
- Does this do
cappuccino?
- Ja.
Wait a second.
Steve, this isn't the procedure.
One of the interns
just fell down
the stairs with the main tracking processor.
Just make sure
we steal the backup.
Are you listening
to me? Eleanor told me
that under no circumstances-
Shut up before
you jinx us, Anne-Marie.
- You catching
anything?
- Mm-mmm.
Hook this up
and make me a latte.
You know, cubbie's
kind of a sucker-maker...
but she's got
some moves.
I agree.
If she wasn't
a bull dyke,
I think I might have a bit of a thing for her.
As you can see...
if the creature
continues
its current migratory route...
our paths should
converge
in less than four days.
I wanna get there
in three.
Ogata, can we -
Vladimir, what's
this blip right over here?
I don't know.
I've been trying to figure that out.
We might have
them both mixed up,
or it could be the other way around.
But we're gonna
be right on top of it
first thing in the morning.
Hmm.
- Good eye, Ned.
- Thank you.
Should we investigate
it?
Yeah. Let's make
a quick dive at : a.m.,
and we'll scope out the phantom signal.
- It's probably
just one of
Hennessey's research turtles.
- Yes.
But I wanna be
back on the road by lunch.
Do me a favor.
Next time you
get a hot idea
in front of the reporter...
whisper it
in my ear first.
Otherwise I look
like
kind of a daydream johnny. You know?
Daydream johnny,
yes.
You let him change
your name?
Well, we changed
it together.
- What was it
before?
- Edward Plimpton.
That's a million
times better.
Change it back, Ned.
I really don't
see you
as a Kingsley Zissou.
Do you think Steve
and I
have a family resemblance?
No.
I guess it doesn't
really matter anyway.
Here.
I stole it back.
I strung it on
some peppermint
dental floss...
in case you wanna
wear it like a necklace.
Happy with the
piece, Jane?
What are you
doing in here?
Am I? No.
Put that down.
I assume I'm Mr.
Z.
I'm sorry that
you think
my red hat is, uh-
What's the word
you use?
"Contrived."
And that...
"The Zissou
of my childhood represents
all the dreams I've come to regret."
What? Why?
I'm going to have
to start
locking my f-ing door.
It was locked.
I kicked it in.
Why don't you
just curse
like other people?
Because I'm trying
to get out of the habit
before I have my fucking baby!
Okay.
That makes sense.
Well, please
clean up your room anyway.
- It looks like
a goddamn typhoon hit it.
- Get out!
Please don't make
fun of me.
I just wanted to flirt with you.
I'll have an intern
come and fix the door.
This is a message
from the I.M.U. coast guard.
Apparently some
crooked fuckers
broke into my sea lab yesterday.
How awful.
Did they nick anything?
It doesn't say.
They probably just trashed the place.
I'm so pissed
I wanna spit.
Hugo -
tell Carl to load my elephant gun...
with buckshot.
We're gonna hunt
down
these sickos.
Supposedly Cousteau
and his cronies...
invented the idea
of putting walkie-talkies
into the helmet.
But we made ours
with
a special rabbit ear on the top...
so we could pipe
in
some music.
Let's start with
the reverse.
Okay, roll it,
Vikram.
Would it be possible
for me to
address you as Dad in this scene?
No. Why?
Oh, excuse me.
I'm sorry.
I forgot. I - I'm sorry.
Where are you
coming from,
jack off? Shit.
It's not a bad
impulse though.
Some kind of nickname.
Not that one.
It's too specific,
but try to think of something else.
Another name?
How about Stevesy?
That's good. Try
it.
What were you gonna say before?
Good luck, Stevesy.
Fantastic.
Let's go.
Okay, action.
Look, Ned.
There's a sunken airplane down there.
Let's check it
out.
We examine the
crash site, but are careful
not to disturb the forensic evidence.
- How was that?
- Not bad.
The first take
was
a little faster.
- Is that yours?
- Klaus.
- Klaus.
- Ja?
May I have a word
with you, please?
What?
- Why'd you do
that?
- Because I owed you one.
But you gave me
a warning already.
- You stood up
for yourself.
- I still owed you one.
- And now I owe
you one.
- No. Now we're even.
Why are you doing
this?
He's not my father, you know. I don't have that.
What are you talking
about?
"We're even,"
damn it.
That's it!
No, it was like
a beat-up
little jalopy.
I don't know what
you'd call it.
You didn't see it?
I didn't see it,
boss.
Well, keep your
eyes peeled.
Klaus, check who's
on watch.
I'll be in the sauna.
Pele and -
Who the shit is
Kingsley Zissou?
- Is that him?
- Mm-hmm. That's him.
I've never felt
a baby
in someone's stomach before.
I think you'll
make
a very good single mother.
- Thanks.
- Although it does put you both
at a tremendous disadvantage.
You know...
Steve's got a
little bit
of a thing for you.
Why do you say
that?
Because he told
me.
Really?
I thought he hated
my guts.
Well, I think
you hurt his feelings,
but that doesn't mean -
He says I hurt
his feelings?
So... f'd up.
Five, four
Three, two
- Yeah?
- Steve, would you please open the door?
Mm-hmm?
Jane, is, uh,
Ned in there?
Stevesy?
Stevesy, what's happenin'?
Are those hijackers?
Well, we call
them pirates
out here, Ned.
You were supposed
to be
on watch, by the way.
Oh, my God.
You're right. Stevesy, look.
Whoa. No.
So, tell me, you
were reading
to each other in French?
No, it's in English.
It was translated.
Well, you know,
you're not supposed to
go into each other's cabins on a boat.
- Why not?
- It's just kind of...
an unwritten maritime
rule
when you're at sea.
Especially the
goddamn lookout.
- I'm so sorry.
- So am I.
You hung us out
to dry.
If we don't handle
this right...
we're gonna all
get murdered.
Including her
unborn British child.
I'm gonna kill
you
for that, asshole!
I'm gonna hit
you so fuckin' hard
you'll be blind!
Please don't hurt
him.
Watch me. I'll
let you know
when I'm gonna make a move.
Steve, it's way
safer for us
to just do what they say.
They probably
just want
our money and jewels and shit.
Yeah. Then how
am I gonna
finish my movie then?
Jesus holy f-
They're going
to
kill us, Steve.
All right. I'm
pattin' you on the back
right now, Klausie.
Don't be scared.
I'm gonna get us through this, everybody.
Ogata, como esta,
pal?
Wake up, Ned-o.
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
I need to speak with
the man in charge, fellas.
Don't point that
gun at him.
He's an unpaid intern.
Vikram, what kind
of
coverage you gettin'?
I just kept it
rolling till
they put this hood over my head.
Bill speaks their
language.
What are they saying, Billy?
Hold on.
Okay. Apparently
they're taking a hostage.
Obviously they've chosen Ned -
Uh, now that they've
found out
that I speak Filipino...
they seem to be
changing their minds.
- Do you have
a vault? They want
to know if there's a vault.
- There's no vault.
Our vault contains
at least different currencies...
from all over
the world at any given moment...
and we are prepared
for
every kind of financial necessity.
There goes Ned's
inheritance.
Tell them if they
don't
get off my boat right now...
there's gonna
be a major shit-storm.
Ned-o, can you
hear me?
We'll get ya back,
Billy. Is everybody else safe?
Anne-Marie, are you okay, honey?
No, I'm not. I
told you these were
unprotected waters.
What a fuckin'
nightmare.
Be cool on this
shit,
okay, cubbie?
I mean, at least
try
to show both sides.
I need to find
a baby
for this father.
Yeah, I think
I know
what you mean.
Steve.
Here we go.
- Steve, what
are you going -
- I said get your ass...
the hell off of
my boat!
I'm a street-walking
cheetah
with a heart full of napalm
I'm a runaway
son of the nuclear A-bomb
I am a world's
forgotten boy
The one who searches
and destroys
Honey, gotta help
me, please
Somebody gotta
save my soul
Baby, detonate
for me
Ow
Look out, honey
'cause I'm usin' technology
Ain't got time
to make no apology
I've never seen
a bond company stooge
stick his neck out like that.
What's that sound?
- Is that-
- The Arctic Night-lights. Yeah.
"As if the
natural world's been
turned upside down." Lord Mandrake.
Vikram, get some
cutaways
of this miracle.
Klaus, Ogata,
put out
the deck fires before we sink.
Those fucking
amateurs.
You left your
dog, you idiots.
Wrap this stiff
in a tablecloth.
We're gonna bury him at sea.
Shouldn't we give
him
to the authorities or something?
No.
I'll write up
a few words
to read over him.
How ya holdin'
up there, intern?
Doin' okay?
Ned, how many
fingers
am I holdin' up?
I don't know.
That's not my job.
Too many to tell.
- How many fingers
-
- He's gonna be just fine.
I believe it's
criminal
that Steve allowed this to happen to us...
by which I mean
illegal.
We're being led
on an illegal suicide mission
by a selfish maniac.
I hear what you're
saying,
but I think you misjudge the guy.
Saint Paul said
to the Corinthians...
"Without
kin, no man may
regard himself kindly. Without s -"
Holy shit!
Son of a bitch. Cut.
This is Captain
Hennessey.
We've come in response to your distress signal.
Remain calm until
-
Good God.
Is that you, Steven?
Ogata, run downstairs
and put a tarp over
anything that says "Operation Hennessey" on it.
What about this
guy?
Just throw him
over
the other side.
Your engine blew
up,
and all your fuel's been stolen. Is that correct?
- Uh-huh.
- I certainly know how you feel.
Some crooked fuckers
just stripped my sea lab, you know.
Probably the same
dudes.
I can tow you
as far as
Port-au-Patois.
I'll need your
signature on that invoice first.
It accounts for
the expenses of the rescue
operation as well as my time and that of my crew.
This is more than
the budget
of my whole project.
It's an estimate.
Uh, what's your dog's name?
Cody.
Be still, Cody.
I have to run
this by
my bond company stooge.
- He's been kidnapped.
- That's true.
- I have to rescue
him first.
- Well, sign it now, or I'm leavin' you out here.
Oh. I dined with
Eleanor
last weekend, by the way.
She's summering
at my villa
in West Port-au-Patois, don't you know.
Say, how's Team
Zissou
holdin' up without her?
The first thing
that goes through
a captain's head...
when he hears
there's low morale
goin' around is:
"What'd I
do?
Is it all my fault?"
Well, he's probably
right.
Most of us have
been
together a long time.
There are others
that were here before that.
Do you all
not like me anymore?
I mean, what am
I supposed to do?
I don't know.
Look, if you're
not
against me...
don't cross this
line.
If yes, do.
I love you all.
- Are you sure?
- Yes, I am.
- I don't understand.
Why?
- What do you mean?
Wait a second.
What are we doing?
You said cross the line if-
- Cross the line
if you're going to quit.
- Oh.
Do it again.
I misunderstood.
Hi, Ross.
I got your corrections
on the proofs.
They're fine, but...
I'm not coming
back.
It's over.
Please don't try to contact me, okay?
You'll hear from
us sometime.
We got attacked
by pirates.
I feel as if life
is -
Well, you get
the idea.
Anyway, take care of yourself. Jane.
Will you write
to me?
Of course.
Give me the address.
Well, actually,
I went ahead and stamped
and self-addressed...
or so envelopes
just to...
make it easier
for you.
Thanks.
I'll use them.
Each one has three
blank pages in it, and...
here's a pen.
Maybe I'm going
to write you
a letter right now.
Okay.
Bet I'm gonna
really miss you, Ned.
I'm gonna miss
you too.
In fact, I feel
like -
I don't know.
I feel like
my heart's almost getting broken.
I guess I'm overreacting.
Is that really
true?
Yes, it is.
That was all
off the record, cubbie.
That whole deal.
Actually, I'm
surprised
you didn't cross the line yourself.
- What line?
- The line I drew on the deck just now.
- You weren't
up there?
- No.
You're kidding.
That was one of
the most dramatic things
that's ever happened on this boat.
I just lost all
my best interns.
I thought you
were supposed to be
covering this story.
- You just said
it was all off the record.
- Yeah, but you didn't know that.
Well, I was down
here packing.
Flipped the wrong
breaker.
So, you are leaving.
You're jumpin'
ship on me.
I'm going to scrap
the article.
You mean you're
not even gonna
write the cover story on me?
Man, I just don't
have
any stature anymore.
Sorry, Steve.
Everything just got too weird. That's all.
But I gave you
a goddamn
showstopper up there.
Are you sleeping
with Ned?
That's none of
your business.
Okay.
- Are ya?
- No, I'm not.
You're gonna miss
the jaguar shark.
Or whatever it
is
if it actually exists.
Are you crying?
You cry easily,
don't you?
Bloody hell. God
save that poor little stooge.
- This never would
have happened
if Eleanor was with us.
- Thanks, man.
Your luck had
better
damn well change soon, mate.
Now, I must away.
I'll send you a postcard from my travels.
Wh -Wait.
Where are you goin'?
Abroad for a spell,
my darling.
It's my passport status, you see.
I'm X- at the
moment.
Legally, I'm a fugitive.
Wait a second.
They stole my budget...
my boat's broken,
you're ditchin' me up the creek.
What am I supposed
to do here?
Well, I must say,
nothing's jumping to mind.
Phillip, any suggestions?
No, he's shaking his head.
Land ho! Port-au-Patois
dead ahead!
Port-au-Patois!
Port-au-Patois!
Ho! Ho!
Ho!
Land ho! Ho!
No. I can't give
you full credit,
but I'm not gonna flunk you either.
You're all getting
incompletes.
This is bullshit.
Oh, shit.
What do you want?
Do you mind if
I butter you up a little bit
before I answer that question?
Yes, I do.
Tell me now.
I need some money
to get the boat out of hock...
and rescue my
bond company stooge
who got kidnapped.
Could we ask your
parents
to loan it to me?
No.
Okay.
Could I go ahead
and butter you up anyway?
It took me two
and a half hours
to get out here.
- Who's that dude?
- That's my research assistant, Javier.
Javier, presento
Steve.
Steve.
Necesito cinco
minutos,
por favor.
You know, I'd
be jealous
about you staying at Allie's place...
except I always
thought
he was kind of a closet queer.
So how's your
father-son
relationship coming along?
Well, nobody has
a real lock on any of this,
so I don't know how it all times out.
I mean, I know
I want him
to think of me like a father.
But the fact that
there's
an outside chance...
that he could
really be
my actual...
biological son...
is very difficult
for me.
You know I'm not
big
on apologizing.
So I'll just skip
it
if it's all the same to you.
- Okay.
- Anyway, I'm sorry.
I know I haven't
been
at my best this past decade.
That's true.
What happened
to me?
Did I lose my
talent?
Am I ever gonna
be
good again?
I don't know.
Doesn't matter
anyway.
It's probably
the last adventure
I've got in me.
I was hopin' to
go out
in a flash of blazes...
but I'll probably
just
end up goin' home.
Unless you're
plannin'
to sell the island.
I wonder how much
I could get for it.
In this market?
You were probably
right all along.
We should've had a kid together.
Of course...
you were kind
of already...
on the edge of
bein' too old.
Unless maybe that's
a cop-out.
It's worse than
a cop-out.
I was .
It's good to see
ya, Eleanor.
I'm about to blow
my stack.
I turn my back,
and the bullshit begins.
Ned, you're a
scumbag.
And, Jane,
you're a goddamn liar.
What the fuck
are you doing in here?
What the "F"
are you doing in here?
I warned you about
being in other people's cabins.
You were supposed
to go home.
Well, you convinced
me to stay
and finish the story.
- Is it still
the cover?
- I don't fucking know.
Don't you dare
put on that uniform.
It's all I have
with me.
I told you I have
a bit of a thing for her.
"Not this
one," I said.
You said,
"Not this one, Klaus."
So you heard me.
You're too old
for me, Steve.
Well, you're pregnant.
Can I have a word
with you privately?
Yes.
Follow me.
Are you two fighting?
I'll deal with
you later.
Look, Steve.
I know we both like her...
and you're angry
and embarrassed,
but leave her out of it.
You think that's
what
this is about?
Shit, Ned.
What has that bull dyke been telling you?
All right. I'm
gonna warn you now.
Be a gentleman.
What are you doin'
here?
I thought all you interns ran out on me.
I want to help
you
find that shark.
Goddamn it.
Thank ya, intern.
- You're gettin'
an "A."
- His name's Nico.
- Who?
- Hello, Vikram.
Give me that camera.
I'm gonna smash it over your head.
Cut!
I misread you,
man.
I'm gonna have
to
rethink some shit.
You don't know
me.
You never wanted to know me.
I'm just a character
in your film.
It's a documentary.
It's all really happening.
Well, damn you
for that.
Go to bed,
you sons of bitches.
That pregnant
slut's been playin' us
like a cheap fiddle.
That's it.
I'm gonna fight you, Steve.
You never say,
"I'm gonna fight you, Steve."
You just smile
and act natural...
and then you
sucker punch him.
- You fight your
way, and I'll fight mine.
- Oh, listen, Ned.
Don't you try
to -
I think your Team
Zissou ring
might've caught me on the lip.
You call yourself
my son, but...
I just don't see
it.
It's nothin' personal.
What do you want?
Nothin'.
That's so arrogant.
That's - Screw
off.
I can't believe
I asked
if I could call you Dad.
- Of course you
said no.
- I let you call me Stevesy. It sounds better.
It doesn't mean
the same thing.
A week before
she killed herself...
my mother told
me that you'd known about me
since the day I was born.
Is that a fact?
That's a fact.
I ought to have
stayed
in Kentucky where I belong.
Quiet.
Somebody pay for
this water taxi.
You got any petty
cash on you?
Remind me to send
Eleanor's parents a thank-you
note on the good correspondence stock.
Okay.
This is the message
we received
earlier tonight...
on our answering
machine
at Pescespada Island.
Bill Ubell here.
I'm on a pay phone.
I am still blindfolded.
My arms are bound.
But a young boy
has been kind enough to assist me.
There's not much
chance
I'll get another opportunity to call...
so I thought
I would ask if-
What? No.
Well, thanks for
checkin' in, Bill.
Next time maybe
you could let us know
where you're at.
Based on the quality
of
the connection...
the variety of
wildlife
in the background...
and the elapsed
time between Mr. Ubell's capture
and this message...
there's a good
chance
he's on one of the Ping Islands.
There used to
be a four-star hotel
on Little Ping.
But the entire
island
was destroyed by a monsoon five years ago.
It's been uninhabited
ever since.
I know the place.
Hotel Citroen.
Cubbie, I'd like
to speak
on the record for a moment.
Eleanor has always
been
the brains behind Team Zissou.
By the way...
are you gonna
put in a good description
of the command center I've set up down here?
Okay, gang. That's
the plan.
Set a course for Ping Island, full speed ahead.
You'll need to
hire a team of mechanics
to rebuild the engine first, of course.
I know.
I'm saying after that.
Just because I've
decided to save your neck again
and help you do this rescue...
doesn't mean
you've won me back.
Yes, ma'am.
Thanks.
- Is the father
out of the picture?
- Mm-hmm.
Actually, I was
sort of terrified
about having this baby.
And right now
I'm not
really scared of anything.
- Maybe it's my
hormones.
- That makes sense.
I'm going to tell
you
something confidentially...
which won't be
mentioned again.
I'm pretty sure
I'm the only person
who can say this, including Steve.
Never mind how
I found out.
I'm a scientist.
It's the thing
that puzzles me
about Ned's situation.
- What is it?
- Zissou shoots blanks.
Huh.
I think maybe
it's because
he spent half his life underwater.
Let's try track
three
against picture.
A treacherous
reef surrounds the Ping Islands...
warning intruders
to keep their distance.
Today we discover
one of its victims off the coast of Ping Three.
Our colleague
Alistair Hennessey
and his crew are nowhere to be found.
We will land at
dawn.
Not bad. We'll
temp it
with that, anyway.
All right. Let's
go!
Oh, shit.
Swamp leeches.
Everybody, check
for swamp leeches,
and pull them off.
Nobody else got
hit?
I'm the only one? What's the deal?
What a shame.
They had a bartender
here, Kino,
made the best rum cannonball I've ever tasted.
You ready, Vikram?
Five-six and a
half.
All right.
Shall we do this?
The barometer's
falling.
It's gonna rain in five minutes. We gotta be quick.
- Well, where
are they?
- Unknown. Split into two groups.
I'll take Ned,
Ogata
and Wolodarsky.
Thanks. Thanks
a lot
for not picking me.
What?
We're smack in
the middle
of a lightning-strike rescue op, Klaus.
- What's the deal?
- I'm sick of being on "B" Squad.
Listen. You may
be on "B" Squad,
but you're the "B" Squad leader.
Don't you know
me and Esteban
always thought of you as our baby brother?
I've always thought
of
you two as my dads.
Please don't let
anyone
make fun of me for saying so.
I can't guarantee
that,
Klausie, but I'll try.
Can we get on
with
the maneuvers now?
Wolodarsky,
you got something?
Not yet.
Anybody see anybody?
Empty.
- Klaus, pirates?
- Zip.
I think this whole
place
is deserted.
Shit! We played
a bum hunch.
Fuck. Okay, let's
not
get down on ourselves.
We still got two
more
Ping Islands to check out...
except I don't
know if we have
enough gas to do it.
Damn it, Steve.
This sucks.
I'm disappointed
in myself.
My first wife,
Jacqueline, and I
spent our honeymoon here.
Things are
pretty different now.
All right.
Let's check out.
Did you get that,
Vikram?
- Uh, yeah.
- Good.
We'll give them
the reality this time.
A washed-up old
man
with no friends...
no distribution
deal,
wife on the rocks...
people laughin'
at him,
feelin' sorry for himself.
Can I have a word
alone
with my son, please?
- Are you all
right?
- Not really.
By the way, I've
been tryin'
to think of a nickname...
that might mean
the right thing.
I came up with
Papa Steve.
I'm sorry I never
acknowledged
your existence all those years.
It won't happen
again.
I mean it.
You are my son
to me.
Almost more so.
See, for me to
meet a guy like you
at this time in my life -
I don't know.
Uh, it's just -
I want to communicate
my feelings to you...
but... I think
I might
start to cry.
That's okay.
Psst!
There's something
in the coat check.
Hey, Billy.
You okay?
- Did you get
my message?
- Yeah. It was kind of garbled.
Oh.
Jesus.
These pirates
are monsters.
Well, yeah, but
remember I shot one of their guys
in the neck last week and killed him...
so I think
we're okay too.
Where's Cody?
Cody?
Steven.
Are you rescuing me?
Fold.
Klaus!
Bring the dynamite!
They're in there
after all. Run! Go!
Move! Now!
Vikram got some
great footage of your boat
out there. I guess it's totaled, huh?
Perhaps, but we're
extremely
well insured.
I'll probably
come out ahead
in the end.
Although we'll
obviously have to crew up
from scratch next time.
They made soup
out of my research turtles.
Ogata, give some
first aid to Pele.
Klausie, Ned-o...
dig in here,
and hold these rustlers off...
while I call in
the rendezvous.
We'll meet on
the beach.
You're "A"
Squad.
Renzo. Renzo.
Renzo.
Anybody. Hello. Hello.
This gizmo's out
of juice.
Thanks.
No. Captain.
That's Cedric.
He's a friend.
Merci, Cedric.
Remind me.
We'll send him a red cap and a Speedo.
Wolodarsky, go
get the keys to that fishing boat,
and throw them in the water.
No, wait. They
might have
another set. Just blow it up.
Hey, Ned. It looks
like
we recovered your inheritance.
Klausie.
That's it.
I'm retired.
Oh, no. We forgot
Cody. We gotta go back.
Good-bye, Cody.
See, this represents
the Belafonte.
And here's
Pescespada Island.
And that circle
represents
friendship.
And the "K"
here
stands for Klaus.
Where's your symbol,
Ned?
Oh, I didn't want
to
impose myself.
Klaus is right.
The flag needs a Ned symbol.
Ah, I suppose
we could put an "N"
on the side of that octopus.
What's that stand
for
over there?
That's Esteban.
Well, it was workin'
okay
until late last night...
but now the whole
tracking system's gone
completely on the fritz.
Screw it. We'll
sell it for scrap
along with the boat and the submarines.
I'm goin' home.
Let's take up
the whirlybird
and see what we find out there anyway.
I got a feelin'
we can spot this fish
from feet up.
Ned, I don't know
if I ever even saw the bastard.
I have $ invested
in this damn production.
Somethin' ate
Esteban,
didn't it?
Now lead!
Right?
Right? Ho!
See the dwarfs
and see the giants
Ho.
Which one would
you choose to be
And if you can't
get that together
Here's the answer
Here's the key
You can freeze
like a century man
- Like a century
man
- What's that?
A letter from
Jane.
What does she
say?
Nothin' to speak
of.
Thank you for
putting me
on the flag, Ned.
Of course, Klaus.
It was my pleasure.
Yeah, but you
stitched me
onto the dolphin...
and I want you
to know
how much that means to me.
- Well, I'm very
pleased you liked it.
- Y-You're not listening.
I didn't just
like it.
- You understand?
- Yes, I do.
- Thank you, Klaus.
- Play it cool
Like a century
man
Be a century man
I've still got
yours, of course.
My what?
Dear Captain Zissou.
I am years old
and live in Jawbone, Kentucky.
A creek runs behind
our house
where I live with my mother.
She met you once
some years ago...
and I collect
and catalog amphibians,
reptiles and insects.
I don't know what
this one is called,
so I named it myself.
You are probably
my one of,
if not the, favorite person I've ever studied.
I plan to be either,
"A, "an oceanographer...
"B, "an
architect, "C, "a pilot.
Thank you very
much for your good work.
Sincerely, Ned
Plimpton,
Blue Star Cadet, Zissou Society.
P.S. Do you ever
wish
you could breathe underwater?
I still wish
I could breathe underwater.
Me too, Ned.
- Fluorescent
snapper!
- What?
Really? What's
that?
- A good sign.
The last time
we saw that big shitkicker, he -
Somethin' popped
up there,
didn't it?
I heard a pin
snap loose
in the rotator mechanism.
This is gonna
hurt.
Ned!
Ned!
- Ned!
- Hey, Stevesy.
Are you okay?
I think I'm okay.
What happened?
Did we hit something?
Most likely not.
I think maybe
the pushrod failed.
I'm sorry, Ned.
I should've scrapped
this chopper years ago.
You know, maybe
I should've autorotated...
and performed
a high bank
through our descent.
We might've crashed
a little softer.
Probably wouldn't
have made
any difference though.
Oh.
Should I try to
hide
The way I feel
inside
My heart for you
Would you say
that you
- Jedidiah said
to the Israelites -
- Would try to love me too
In your mind could
you ever be
Really close to
me
I can tell the
way you smile
If I feel that
I could be certain then
I would say the
things
I want to say tonight
- But till I can
see
- All hands bury the dead.
That you'd really
care for me
I will dream
That someday you'll
be
really close to me
I can tell the
way you smile
If I feel that
I
could be certain then
I would say the
things
I want to say tonight
But till I can
see
That you'd really
care for me
I'll keep tryin'
to hide
the way I feel inside
When I live my
dream
This is the first
time Eleanor's ever cried
in front of me as long as I've known her.
Except for once
when she got
her arm caught in the deck winch.
Is this my espresso
machine?
Wh-What is - How
did you get
my espresso machine?
Well, uh...
we fuckin' stole
it, man.
Allie, why don't
you go powder your nose.
I need to talk to your ex-wife.
We've never made
great husbands, have we?
Of course, I have
a good excuse.
I'm part gay.
Supposedly everyone
is.
I never told you
this,
but I was hoping...
we might get the
chance
to adopt Ned.
I think he would've
wanted it that way.
- Would you have
gone along with me on that?
- He was Steve.
- But I'd have
considered it.
- Thanks, Eleanor.
We're a dying
breed.
Yeah.
I guess we were
all right
while we lasted though, weren't we?
Oh, we were like
glory's gate, my darling.
We were like
that bloody shark of yours.
We swam with the,
um, uh -
Oh, goddamn it.
I had it on the plane.
What was I gonna
say?
Ah, well.
- It's good to
see you.
- How's your passport status?
Much better, thank
you.
I'm back down to X-.
Tell me. Who knocked
up
the reporter?
I don't know.
By the way, thanks
for showing me
the first draft.
You read it.
What did you think?
Well, I was a
little
embarrassed at first.
Obviously people
are gonna think
I'm a showboat and a little bit of a prick.
But then I realized...
that's me.
I said those things.
I did those things.
I can live with
that.
You're a good
writer, Jane.
It's the f-ing
cover.
That-a-girl.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry to interrupt...
but we just got
the scanning
monitor back up...
and it looks like
the jaguar shark,
or whatever it is that we're tracking...
is in a trench
on the far side of the reef.
What the hell
is going on in here?
Cheap wiring.
Anybody feel like
going for a ride?
"Ned's Theme."
Take one.
I hooked a rhinestone
bluefin on a rope
to give him something to eat.
Is that one of
mine?
I think one of
my research turtles survived.
Looks good.
Is that him?
That's him, Klaus.
Are we -Are we
safe in here?
I doubt it.
You still want
to
blow him up?
No. We're out
of
dynamite anyway.
It is beautiful,
Steve.
Yeah, it's pretty
good, isn't it?
I wonder if it
remembers me.
In years
he'll be and a half.
That was my favorite
age.
Like this?
Just like that.
You do it too.
We complete the
adventure...
but another number
of our crew has been lost.
This one was my
son.
Also our equity
partner.
We start the voyage
home
in our wounded vessel.
- Ho.
- Ho.
This is an adventure.
Ah, yeah
Oh, yeah
I'm up on the
th floor
and I'm watching the cruisers below
He's down on the
street
and he's trying hard to pull sister Flo
Oh, my heart's
in the basement
My weekend's at an all-time low
'Cause she's hoping
to score
so I can't see her letting him go
Walk out of her
heart
Walk out of her mind
I've lost her
She's so swishy
in her satin and tat
In her frock coat
and bippity-boppity hat
Oh, God
I could do better than that
Oh, yeah
She's an old-time
ambassador
of sweet-talking night-walking games
And she's known
in the darkest clubs
for pushing ahead of the dames
If she says she
can do it
then she can do it
She don't make
false claims
But she's a queen
and such are queens
That your laughter
is sucked in their brains
Now she's leading
him on
and she'll lay him right down
Yeah, she's leading
him on
and she'll lay him right down
But it could have
been me
Yes, it could have been me
Why didn't I say
Why didn't I say
No, no, no
She's so swishy
in her satin and tat
In her frock coat
and bippity-boppity hat
Oh, God
I could do better than that
So I lay down
a while
and I gaze at my hotel wall
Oh, the cot is
so cold
it don't feel like no bed at all
Yeah, I lay down
a while
and look at my hotel wall
And he's down
on the street
So I throw both
his bags down the hall
And I'm phoning
a cab
'cause my stomach feels small
There's a taste
in my mouth
and it's no taste at all
It could have
been me
Oh, yeah, it could have been me
Why didn't I say
Why didn't I say
No, no, no
She's so swishy
in her satin and tat
In her frock coat
and bippity-boppity hat
Oh, God
I could do better than that
You betcha
Oh, yeah
Uh-huh
Mmm
